MOTORWAY MADNESS

Motorway Madness

Written by : Jeffrey R Hilton

If you've ever driven in the U.K. as a Canadian or an American,  you may well relate to this story.  When I first moved to England,  I exchanged my Canadian Driving license for an English one.   The stipulation was that I was only able to drive an automatic transmission or as they say in "Ole Blighty",   a manual.  This was because I couldn't prove that I knew how to drive both manual and automatic and have always done so,  but our Canadian licences do not indicate this oversight.  If I wanted to drive a manual,  I would have needed to take all driving tests over again from the beginning,  including the written test,  and after England revamped their entire test,  I heard many English citizens say themselves that they probably couldn't pass the new test,  so I was content to drive an automatic car over not driving at all or taking the new dreaded test.

As Wild As It Gets

Like anyone that's never driven on the opposite side of the car and road, it was a challenge to get used to,  and roundabouts were a scary thing until I got used of how they worked.  I had a job interview in another town not far from Southsea where I lived.  My appointment was early on a Monday morning and I studied the route beforehand as best I could and was prepared as I was going to be by Monday.  I started the car up and headed through Portsmouth to the Motorway.  It was very foggy and this didn't bode well with me and the uncertainty of the whole thing.  By the time I got on the motorway,  the fog was so thick,  I was a bit frightened by it,  and coupled with my insecurity of not knowing my way around,  I was wound up like a cheap Japanese watch as I drove carefully as I could,  barely being able to see 5 feet ahead of me.

On The Morning Of This Drive, The Fog Was Much Thicker Than This

This was getting scary and I knew I must be getting close to the exit I needed and strained my eyes trying to spot the exit.  After a few minutes,  I slowed down a bit and all of a sudden,  I barely made out the exit sign,  just as I was driving past it.  Unable to take the exit now,  I may as well have driven off the edge of the world,  as that's the sinking feeling I had as I saw that exit passing by and was helpless to do anything but keep going. Panic set in as I tried to work out how I would be able to find my way back to the exit.  Eventually,  I found another exit up the road and took it into another small village where I turned around and stopped a minute to regain my composure enough to try again.

Well, I got there eventually,  but I swear my hands were welded to the steering wheel and my hair was a bit grayer.  Talk about stress.  On another occasion, I was driving to work on an old air force base and decided to continue down the road a little farther than my turn off into the base to go to a petrol station. It was only 5:30 am,  and the road was quiet without any traffic. I got to the station and it was closed,  so I turned around and headed back to the base.  When I was almost there,  I suddenly realized I had pulled onto the road and had continued on the wrong side of the road.  This flash of realization jolted me into action and I moved into the proper side of the road,  just seconds before the road divided. Thankfully there were no cars coming at me,  and I breathed a sigh of relief as I pulled onto the base road.  This was the only time I ever inadvertently drove on the wrong side of the road in 4 years of English driving.

Magic Roundabout In Swindon

I once received a visitor from Canada, who rented a van when he got there and had driven from Gatwick Airport in London to Portsmouth and picked me up.  I mentioned roundabouts to him and said I would instruct him in the art of driving through a roundabout.  Just as the words left my mouth,  he drove through a roundabout and I was slightly taken aback as he said,  " Roundabout,  Oh is that what that was? "

I never had an accident while there thankfully,  but driving in the U.K. is somewhat challenging for a Canadian.  Many of the streets are only passable for one car at a time and as you pull onto one of these streets,  you must stop and wait if any cars are already coming down the road the opposite way.  Many of the streets are so plugged with parked cars that by the time you park your car,  most of the cars on the street are parked so close to each other,  you could barely put a pencil between 2 cars bumpers.

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Do Have A Good Day And A Jolly Road-trip.

Jeffrey R Hilton